Forgive like Your Forgiveness Depends on it

Starter Question

Is there something you’ve dramatically changed your mind about? Something you used to dislike and protest, like pineapple on pizza, apple or android, a sports team, etc. What led to your change of heart?

Message Questions

Define forgiveness in your own words.

What do you think are some helpful or wise parameters when it comes to forgiveness? (LEADER NOTE: Remind them that their suggestion may or may not be what Jesus would say, but this is a good way to bring our tangled web of thoughts to the surface. If people are struggling suggest things like forgiveness is oftentimes a process or forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting or forgiving doesn’t mean you have to trust them again).

Read Matthew 6:12-14. Why do you think Jesus gives this condition?

Why do you think God has the ability to forgive us for the things we did to other people?

Read Matthew 18:21-35. We lose in translation the comparison of the debts here. This is something like a million dollars compared to a few dollars. Like all your earning potential compared to lunch money. How does that fit our unwillingness to forgive?

Can God both forgive and be just? How & why?

Read Romans 12:14-21. What are some things that stuck out to you in this passage?

Why do you think we should avoid revenge?

What happens when we repay our pain with “good?”

Read Ephesians 4:31-32. As Matt said, “We’re either letting bitterness go or letting it grow.” How do we actually, practically attempt to drain bitterness or resentment?

Challenge

Forgiveness is a difficult process that takes time and intention. Bring to mind someone who you know you need to forgive. Maybe start with the smaller debts first. How do you think you can get started on the forgiveness process? Share as much as you think you should with the group.

Prayer

Father,

Thank you for your constant supply of grace. Though we regularly fail and mess up, you’re always ready to respond with welcome arms. We don’t know or regally understand how you do it. Especially when our actions or disposition cause pain to someone else that you deeply love. Someone you’ve made in your image.

Please help us to see all the selfish and even subconscious ways we’re racking up debt, sin, and pain against others. Then, help us to identify ways we’ve been hurt. The real roots of our personal trauma, bitterness, and resentment.

Teach us how you let it go. How to wisely not perpetuate the pain, but to reset the relationship. Even if they’re not responsive or acknowledge it, teach us to forgive. Help us to see what they did for what it is, and give us the strength to stop the cycle of pain. Sticking our arms in the gears of sin can be painful, as you well know, but it’s the only way forward.

Because he show us how every day, in Jesus’ name, amen.